Lee.org

My wildflower garden (previously) is starting to come up! Yay!

The gophers made their first pass this week. Boo!

Defense engaged!

You can now also find me on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/profile/gadlen.bsky.social . Facebook and https://lee.org are still my primary social media, but that is shifting.

I figured out a reasonable way to find my Facebook friends on Bluesky: Each friend hopefully posted a message like I did. So when I do a Facebook search for “bsky.app/profile” and then limit that search to Posts made by Friends, it should find all of my friends switching.

My grandmother passed away 11 years ago. Her funeral was at Moore’s Home for Funerals in Wayne NJ. The home has closed its doors so I am reposting her obituary here.

(original)
In Memory of Irene R. Sonko 1912-2014

Obituary of Irene R. Sonko
Irene R. (Polachek) Sonko, age 102, went home to be with the Lord on Saturday, December 6, 2014. Mrs. Sonko was born December 3, 1912 in Hungary, the daughter of the late Joseph and the late Elizabeth Polachek. She lived in Lincoln Park. She was employed as a Factory Worker for many years before retiring. Mrs. Sonko was a member of St. Joseph’s R.C. Church, Lincoln Park.

Beloved wife of the late Lee Sonko, Devoted mother of Rita Temes, Lee and his wife Marlene Sonko and the late Marcia Sonko, Loving sister of Helen Yobbagy, Devoted grandmother of Wendy and her husband Justin Sabino, Craig and his wife Soraida Temes, Bart Temes, Melissa Sonko and Lee Sonko, Jr., Great grandmother of Alexa, Arianna, Craig, Michael, Jenelle, Julia and Tiffany and Dear aunt of Pat & Barbara.

Visiting hours will be Wednesday from 6-9 p.m.

The funeral Mass will be Thursday at 10:00 a.m. at St. Joseph’s R.C. Church, Lincoln Park and will be celebrated by Father Thomas Mangieri.

Interment will be in Holy Sepulchre Cemetery, Totowa.

Memorials may be made to St. Joseph’s R.C. Church, 216 Comly Road, Lincoln Park, NJ 07035

I hope that, in time, this page sits as an archive of a short but terribly stupid period in American history.

Trump had all the government websites with information about “gender ideology” removed. They came back online a few days later with this asinine language on them. What, you ask, is “gender ideology”? Quite simply, it is “gender”.

HHS Access to Healthcare

CDC Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System

The asinine language:

Per a court order, HHS is required to restore this website as of [February 11, 2025 at 11:59 p.m]. Any information on this page promoting gender ideology is extremely inaccurate and disconnected from the immutable biological reality that there are two sexes, male and female. The Trump Administration rejects gender ideology and condemns the harms it causes to children, by promoting their chemical and surgical mutilation, and to women, by depriving them of their dignity, safety, well-being, and opportunities. This page does not reflect biological reality and therefore the Administration and this Department rejects it.

Content created by Assistant Secretary for Health (ASH)
Content last reviewed February 18, 2025

Pope Francis just said to JD Vance, “You just claimed your foreign policy follows Catholic doctrine? Shut your mouth… and meditate.”

To summarize: JD Vance claimed in an interview that new US foreign policy (ie withdrawing all foreign aid everywhere abruptly by closing USAID) followed Ordo Amoris.

The pope responded, writing a letter to his bishops saying, “Christian love is not a concentric expansion of interests that little by little extend to other persons and groups. The true ordo amoris that must be promoted is that which we discover by meditating constantly on the parable of the ‘Good Samaritan’ (cf. Lk 10:25-37), that is, by meditating on the love that builds a fraternity open to all, without exception.”

Abigail and I went Orienteering this weekend. It was epic!

I had gone when I was about 10 years old with my dad and it is a memory and feeling I cherish dearly! I am so glad to have shared this experience, in a whole new way, with my daughter!

My great friend Sarahjane owns Bay-Made, a gift shop in Oakland, CA that sells locally produced art. It’s a great place to shop! She is seeking a change to her business model. If you’re an artist that sells their work, consider working with her! Could be awesome!

Here’s a reel on Facebook where she makes her plea!  (or see on Instagram)

In brief, she’s looking to change it to a co-op model, where some artists also spend time working in the store.

This is just a pleasant ramble about Abigail and I having a good afternoon.

Last week, I picked Abigail up from school and she wanted to go to Yaoya-san, a local Japanese grocery store. We had an absolute blast finding fun foods for dinner. She picked the required foods for dinner, then her “for fun” foods. We had a magic moment when we were deciding which “fun” food I’d get. I let Abigail pick: I took the pint of red bean paste ice cream and the kilo of tapioca balls behind my back and she got to pick which hand. Tapioca won!

We got home and we cleaned up a little before Megan got home. We put away some of the beautiful home-made soaps we had made as holiday gifts. Some soaps went into our own “gonna use” pile, some, we realized, still had to get to their giftees, and some went into the “pre-emptive gifts” pile! You might get one of our soaps!

I started cooking up some tapioca balls for milk-tea. (I had never made milk-tea but how hard could be be, right? Foreshadowing!)

I started making dinner, then Megan and Abigail finished it. It was a super-yummie “Creamy Dreamy Mushroom Cavatappi with Scallions & Parmesan” recipe from Hello Fresh that made us all “mmmm” with delight!

After some chilling and washing dishes, I sat down with Abigail who was watching this very charismatic Minecraft Youtuber, “aCookieGod”. It was really pleasant! I gave the milk-tea a try. What should be in it? How about… umm, milk… and tea… and tapioca balls? Ding Ding Ding! It was so simple and good! Abigail’s suggestion of adding some brown sugar was a winner and we had milk-tea while chilling on her new bean-bag, watching TV together!

It came near bed-time so we brushed teeth together. Abigail asked to play Lullaby (Goodnight, My Angel) by Billy Joel while we brushed. I hadn’t realized until then what a hauntingly beautiful song it was. As we listened and brushed teeth, she told me how the girls in her class were going to hum the song at the spring song-swap, and the boys were going to say the words… and she was amused at how bad the boys were in the practices they’ve had so far! What a great time we had brushing teeth and chatting!

Then into the bedroom for bed… almost. We played with her slinky for half an hour, learning how to flip it so it would slink on the ground just so. We went back and forth teaching each other tricks. And I snuck some nice parenting into it: suggesting instead of her telling me how I was doing it wrong, that she focus on how I could do it better. “Show me how to do it right three ways, and how I did it wrong just one time.” We had a magical time!

How much should a dentist visit cost with insurance? I get “periodontal maintenance” (more expensive & extensive than a regular cleaning) every 3-4 months to keep my gums from receding because I’ve got 2-5mm pockets. My latest visit had a “submitted fee of $680, an “accepted fee” of $280, insurance paid $70. I was left to pay $130. The math doesn’t add up, I know, but that’s what the bill says. Why would Delta Dental only pay $70 for a fancy cleaning? Annoyingly, $88 of my bill was for “D1330, Oral hygiene instructions.” That doesn’t seem right. Thoughts?
At another dentist’s office, my daughter had a visit. They didn’t clean her teeth, only examined and applied some fluoride varnish. Insurance paid $130 and I owe $60.
Is this how dental insurance goes these days?