Lee.org

Lee J. Sonko passed away April 29th. Visitation will be held Saturday May 4th, 2024 at 4-6pm with services at 6pm at Aycock-Riverside Funeral Center, Jupiter, FL. There will be an additional visitation at the Cochran Funeral Home, 905 High Street, Hackettstown, NJ on Friday May 10th, 2024 from 4-8 pm with services being held on Saturday, May 11th at the funeral home at 11am with Father Timothy Dowling officiating. Burial will follow services at the Union Cemetery, Hackettstown, NJ.

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He lived long enough and happily enough to write his own obituary. When he was 41 he had his first open heart surgery. Every day since then has been on what he knew to be borrowed time. He borrowed 47 more very happy years and used them as well as any person I’ve ever known.
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My Father’s Obituary

Lee J Sonko born Oct 25, 1936.

Born in New Brunswick NJ, Lee grew up in Elmira NY. He graduated with a B.S. Degree in 1959 from Fairleigh-Dickinson University and an M.B.A. in 1961. He is also a graduate of the Executive Program at the Wharton School. He was one of the first to receive a C.F.P. designation in the 1970’s and he taught the course.

He is survived by his loving wife of 64 years, Marlene Sonko (nee Ferranti), daughter Melissa, son Lee, Lee’s wife Megan, and his granddaughters Julia Sonko and Abigail Flom-Sonko. He was brother of Rita Temes and Marcia Sonko, and brother-in-law to Dorothy Howard and Ernestine McCarren.

Lee and family lived in West Milford NJ and he was President of the Library Board, an Environmental Commissioner, active with the Jaycee’s, Knights of Columbus, a fundraiser for local and state politicians, and coached a little league baseball team to two championships. Lee then moved to Smoke Rise in Kinnelon NJ where he was active with the Smoke Rise Tennis Club and building their Club House. He also enjoyed the family’s ski house at Stratton Vermont.

Anticipating retirement he then moved to Panther Valley in Allamuchy NJ and Jonathan’s Landing in Jupiter Florida. He was a member of the Panther Valley Golf and Country Club as well as a member of Jonathans Landing Country Club. He was founder of “The 12 Santas”, a charitable organization active in Hackettstown NJ.

In an earlier career, he was the manager of the paper dress project for a major paper company. Lee ultimately retired from Morgan Stanley as a Senior Vice-President in 2003.

His hobbies included golf, his beloved 1951 Packard, sailing, wine making, social evenings, and especially his family. He enjoyed what life had to offer, often traveling around Europe and the west to vacation and ski in his younger days and golf trips more recently. He is currently vice-president of the pacheata society.

Lee died peacefully on April 29th, 2024 of heart failure with family at his side.

Visitation will be held Saturday May 4th, 2024 at 4pm – 6 pm with services at 6pm at Aycock-Riverside Funeral Center, Jupiter, FL. There will be an additional visitation at the Cochran Funeral Home, 905 High Street, Hackettstown, NJ, Friday May 10, 2024 from 4-8 pm with services being held on Saturday, May 11 at the funeral home at 11 am with Father Timothy Dowling officiating. Burial will follow services at the Union Cemetery, Hackettstown, NJ.

My beloved father, Lee J Sonko passed away yesterday, April 29th, among his family. Services will be held in Jupiter, Florida and then in Hackettstown, NJ. Details to follow.

The SRL show in San Jose in 2005 rocked my world! Here I am talking about it 20 years later!

Find out what is so astounding. I signed up to their Patreon this week to hopefully see another show and bring Abigail. You’ll have to sign up for their Patreon for the possibility of catching their next show. Join me?

Please enjoy this recording of a live stage performance of The Witches by Roald Dahl, directed by Lew Williams, and performed by the Madera Elementary Drama Club on the evening of April 11th, 2024!

Lee, proud father of Abigail / “Girl” and “Diner”

In case you don’t know, Neil Gaiman is a rather good, rather famous author. I just found out that he wrote what you see below, here.

I’m posting this because I need to remember this anecdote for myself. Maybe you need to remember it for yourself, I don’t know.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 17, 2017

THE NEIL STORY (WITH ADDITIONAL FOOTNOTE)

POSTED BY NEIL GAIMAN AT 2:26 PM 

(I wrote this on Tumblr. It’s since been picked up and quoted all over the place, and I’m being asked a lot if it’s actually something I said, and if it’s true. It is, and it is. Here’s the original.)

duckswearhats asked: Hi, I read that you’ve dealt with with impostor syndrome in the past, and I’m really struggling with that right now. I’m in a good place and my friends are going through a lot, and I’m struggling to justify my success to myself when such amazing people are unhappy. I was wondering if you have any tips to feel less like this and maybe be kinder to myself, but without hurting anyone around me. It’s a big ask, I know, but any help would make my life a lot less stressful The best help I can offer is to point you to Amy Cuddy’s book, Presence. She talks about Imposter Syndrome (and interviews me in it) and offers helpful insight.The second best help might be in the form of an anecdote. Some years ago, I was lucky enough invited to a gathering of great and good people: artists and scientists, writers and discoverers of things.  And I felt that at any moment they would realise that I didn’t qualify to be there, among these people who had really done things.

On my second or third night there, I was standing at the back of the hall, while a musical entertainment happened, and I started talking to a very nice, polite, elderly gentleman about several things, including our shared first name*. And then he pointed to the hall of people, and said words to the effect of, “I just look at all these people, and I think, what the heck am I doing here? They’ve made amazing things. I just went where I was sent.”

And I said, “Yes. But you were the first man on the moon. I think that counts for something.”

And I felt a bit better. Because if Neil Armstrong felt like an imposter, maybe everyone did. Maybe there weren’t any grown-ups, only people who had worked hard and also got lucky and were slightly out of their depth, all of us doing the best job we could, which is all we can really hope for.

(There’s a wonderful photograph of the Three Neils even if one of us was a Neal at http://journal.neilgaiman.com/2012/08/neil-armstrong.html)

…

*(I remember being amused and flattered that he knew who I was, not because he’d read anything by me, but because the Google algorithm of the time had me down as Neil #1. If you just typed Neil, it would take you to neilgaiman.com. Many people, including me, felt that if there was a Neil #1, it was most definitely him.)

LABELS: IMPOSTER SYNDROME, NEIL ARMSTRONG

 

and the photo of the three Neils…

SATURDAY, AUGUST 25, 2012

NEIL ARMSTRONG

POSTED BY NEIL GAIMAN AT 2:50 PM 

Neal Stephenson and I were not standing in order to make it quite clear who Neil #1 was and would always be.

I spent a couple of days in Neil Armstrong’s company. He was as nice, as modest and as wise as anybody could have hoped for. If you ever wondered what my face looks like when I’m going “This is really happening, and I am the luckiest man in the world,” it looks a lot like it does in this photo.

His achievements were the stuff of legend, and I am lucky to have known him, if only for a brief time,  I am sad that he’s gone, proud as a member of the human race that he did what he did for all of us.

LABELS: NEIL ARMSTRONG

How much electricity does an inflatable hot tub use?

In brief, it costs $20-200 per month to operate an inflatable hot tub. A cover will reduce your electricity costs by about 20%.

If you want to compare electricity costs with other hot tub owners, you need to tell them:
– The average temperature in your area for the month. Google it or use this tool.
– How much your electricity costs per kilowatt-hour (in the US, it ranges from $0.08 to $0.50!) Google it.

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Read on:

Here’s my experience: I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. I have a 177 gallon “4 person” inflatable hot tub that plugs into a regular 110 volt outlet. In the winter, our hot tub uses about 9 kilowatt-hours per day, with average outdoor temperatures of about 45 degrees. I added insulation, making it use about 20% less energy. In the summer, it uses 4 kilowatt-hours per day, with average temperatures 60-70.

Depending where you live, electricity costs $0.08 to $0.50 per kilowatt-hour. So if your electricity is expensive (like where I live), your hot tub may cost:

9 kilowatt-hours per day * $0.50 per kilowatt-hour * 30 days per month = $135 per month to operate in the winter.

Do the math for your area! If it’s colder, it’ll use more energy. If you’ve got a cover, it’ll use less energy, etc…

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How much it costs to run just the pump?

My pump draws 35 watts. So running continuously thats 0.840 kilowatt-hours per day.
0.840 * 0.10 = $0.08 per day if your electricity is cheap.
0.840 * 0.50 = $0.42 per day if your electricity is expensive.
If you leave the pump running only 1/2 the time, it uses 1/2 the electricity.

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How long does it take to warm up an inflatable hot tub?

Our 177 gallon tub warms at 2 degrees per hour in all of our conditions (40-70 degrees). So if we fill it with our 54 degree garden hose water, it’ll be at 104 in 50/2 = 25 hours. If we fill it with hot tap water, it’ll be ready immediately! (watch out, most garden hoses will be damaged with water over 120 degrees!)

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Will I save money if I turn off my hot tub when I’m not using it?

For us, it takes 3 days of leaving the hot tub off to start saving any noticeable amount of electricity. It takes several hours (8-24) to get back to operating temperature so we leave it running unless we know we won’t use it for about a week.

We considered leaving the thermostat at 88 degrees when it’s not in use; since it warms up at 2 degrees per hour. We could turn the heat on in the morning and it’ll be ready when we come home in the evening. But meh, we usually just leave it running or turn it off for 3+ days at a time.

It’s good to know that you can turn it off entirely and be safe knowing the thermostat will automatically turn on the heat at about 36 degrees to keep it from freezing.

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Should I get an insulating cover for my hot tub?

Meh. Our $100 Cleverspa cover saved us about $150 until it fell apart after a year. And it was a slight bother to put on every time. Maybe a more durable, better insulating cover would be worthwhile.

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Should I insulate my hot tub with foam board insulation?

Possibly! 2 hours work and $50 of insulation is saving me 2kwh/day all winter, that’s ~$200/year.  And it looks like it’s going to last several years! I used R-Tech 1/2 in. x 48 in. x 8 ft. R-1.93 EPS Rigid Foam Board Insulation from Home Depot. Though my electricity costs are very high; I pay $0.50/kwh, if you’re paying $0.10/kwh, a cover won’t save you money. But if you live in a place that’s cold, your heater probably can’t keep up without a cover, leaving you with an unsatisfying lukewarm hot tub!

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Should I put my hot tub in an enclosure?

I haven’t tried one but many say they keep the heat in, which can be essential in a cold climate!

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Should I put the hot tub in my basement or garage?

Sure. Watch out for humidity and mold though.

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Details

I’ve kept track of our energy usage with an electricity power usage monitor (kuman KW47-US) and a smart plug (Kasa EP25).

In 2024, I asked my neighbors in the area on a FB group and 3 told me it added about $100/month to their electric bill, which is in line with my estimates.. My neighbor with a “real”, 6 person, hard sided hot tub uses about 7kwh/month in the winter, which is similar to mine!

Tracking costs methodically is hard to do! Confounding factors include usage (sitting in it uses more power than leaving it covered), daily outdoor temperature changes, modifying the hot tub temperature on occasion (our daughter plays in it at 100 degrees, not 104), turning it off or refilling it on occasion, not knowing when another person has changed the temperature, occasional poor note taking, etc. I’ve done my best to wade through the messy data to arrive at my conclusions.

Details: We have a 177 gallon, 180 cm diameter inflatable hot tub. We live in the east bay of San Francisco, CA. See The National Weather Service for a temperature almanac.

Update January 2025: here’s our electric bill from last month. When the hot tub was running, our electric bill was about $9/day with some exceptions. When it wasn’t running, our bill was about $3/day. That’s $6/day to run the hot tub!

Also notable is that I turned the hot tub off from the 24th-26th, turned it on the evening of the 26th, then off from the 28th-31st. If we had left it running, those 4 days would have cost $36, but they ended up costing $23. You’ve got to decide for yourself if it was worth it to leave the hot tub off of that time, to save that money.

With $50 of 1/2″ thick sheet insulation from Home Depot and about 2 hours work, I insulated my inflatable hot tub better than a purchased insulating blanket cover! It insulates as well, saves about 20% on electricity (paying for itself in 2 months), it’s easier to get into the hot tub with no blanket to remove, and this insulation will last much longer than the Cleverspa cover I got last year which fell apart in 6 months from the sun.

My wife loves me. She got me a 6″ Dodowin chainsaw for Valentines Day! I’ve been trimming all manner of trees up to about 4″ around with it. It’s great. The manual doesn’t show you how to adjust the chain tension. It took a while for me to figure it out.Watch and you’ll see how.

I used an air conditioner core cleaner on my 2008 Prius. I show you how I got to the drain hose. It was actually really easy.

I’ve been using a CPAP for 9 years for mild-moderate obstructive sleep apnea. It’s great. If you think you could have more energy, you’re sleepy during the day and you snore and/or have apnea (stop breathing) many times a night, you should definitely ask a doctor about getting one.

First, do you have a problem?

Take this 2 minute quiz, the Epworth Sleepiness Scale (ESS), to find out. I score a 1, which is great.

Do you wake up groggy every morning? That may be because your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen at night!

Do you often wake up with a sore throat in the morning? That’s because you snore!

Your bed-partner and/or an app can tell you if you snore or have apnea. SnoreClock worked great for me! And my then-fiancee told me how my snoring woke her and she’d freak out when I’d stop breathing for 30 seconds at a time.

But I don’t want to have to wear weird medical equipment!

Don’t worry about it’s appearance at all. The only person who will see it, your sleeping partner will LOVE that you aren’t waking them up with your snoring! They will demand that you wear it!

I love mine! I spend less time sleeping every night, have more energy, and think more clearly. And there’s a lot of science that says it’s good for a host of long-term health conditions like dementia, heart disease, etc

There’s sources that say it will take several weeks for you to gain benefit from it, that’s bunk! The very first night you have it dialed in and have a good night’s rest, you’ll know it’s working! It’s like getting 8 hours of sleep every night instead of 4, because it quite literally is!

Some Details

It took a full year to get my CPAP fitted correctly. In the end, it was a stupidly simple fix that 4 (expensive) sleep doctors couldn’t identify. I kept ripping the mask off after 1-4 hours of sleeping because I felt like I couldn’t get enough breath through the mask. The doctors said, “Well, that’s better than nothing” and I’d just stare at them with accusing eyes. The solution: I told a tech at Kaiser I needed to try different masks and despite his mild objections, he let me try some on. With 15 seconds of trying on in the office, I could easily tell it was the right call. I changed from a medium Resmed F20 mask to a large one. The VERY FIRST NIGHT was awesome and it has been ever since.

If you are struggling to get it to work your doctor says that getting 4 hours sleep with the mask is “enough”(that’s what all my doctors said), they are an idiot, don’t go back. It’s true that medical “compliance” is measured by whether a person uses the machine for at least 4 hours per night but that cut-off is for certifying commercial drivers and pilots and such with apnea . If it’s working, you’ll sleep all night with it on; if it’s not working, you’ll sleep 0-4 hours with it on.

I tried a lot of things to help improve my CPAP usage. Now, the only things I do are:

• wash the mask cushion every 2-4 nights with hot soapy water. Maybe monthly I’ll use isopropyl alcohol for a deep de-oiling
• Shaving before bed helps, I do it about 1/2 the time
• I adjust the CPAP low and high pressure settings myself. Just the smallest change possible and see how I feel the next day. (the doctor says they have to do it for you but bah!). I now adjust it slightly every year or three.
• If I used the humidifier, I’d need to do more cleaning

With Kaiser insurance, my mask replacement parts are free. But when I had a PPO, it was cheaper and easier to buy parts on Amazon than use the janky insurance system.

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