Poor Product Reviews
In keeping with Laura’s claim that my site is just one big product review, here are some product reviews.
I got the worst haircut of my life at Willie’s barbershop on Saturday. When you see me next, please don’t think I -wanted- a buzz cut with a tuft on top. My review on Yelp.com reads
2 stars of 5. If your a guy and want a buzz cut, this is your place for a fine $12 cut. If you ask for anything else… well, you’re getting fine $12 buzz cut. Don’t be fooled by the men’s classic hair style charts on the wall to the left. Instead look at the photos to the right of the guys that have gotten crew cuts, cue balls, peach fuzz and their favorite sports team logos scrawled onto their heads.
I put a dollar in the dryer at the laundromat. 30 minutes later, I realized that the heat was broken on the machine. :-(
Paid $22 for “The Works” car wash at Auto City Car Wash. I posted to Yelp.com
3 stars out of 5. I got the $22 “Works” package. I wasn’t totally happy with it. They missed a few spots… corners of the mirrors, the bugs on the grill and hood, some spots around the rear bumper. They advertise that they are “brushless”. That’s because they don’t do much besides run a power washer over it, then a few seconds of hand sponging, then mechanically spray soap, then a rinse. After washing and mechanical Works package waxing, all of the body panels feel very slightly rough; a washed and waxed car should feel smooth. That roughness is sure to catch dust and dirt faster than a smooth surface.
After washing, I noticed a couple several scratches that I don’t recall the car having before. Though to be fair, washing may have just uncovered some scratches that had been there for a while.
If you buy 10 washes up front ($220), you get what amounts to about a 15% discount.
Sigh, all things being equal–doing it yourself does less damage. I have them do the interior and soemtimes the exterior. I try and do it myself, which means it rarely gets waxed. Bad with NE salt.
People have been telling me that my new haircut isn’t so bad. That’s a relief. But it remains that this isn’t the cut I asked for, what I pointed at on the wall, or what the barber promised.
Dear ConAgra Corporation,
RE: PETER PAN PEANUT BUTTER RECALL
I called your hotline number because I found two jars of Peter Pan Peanut butter in our pantry with the affected codes you listed on the website. I thought it would be simple enough to return the items to the supermarket for them to apply for a total credit, but much to my chagrin you are telling the consumer to remove the lid and return by mail for a coupon credit for a ne w jar of your peanut butter. Well if that isn’t the height of frugality by your multi-billion dollar company.
I must find a mailer to encapsulate the lids which are hardly the type of item to place in first class mail and also spend postage to send it to you so that you can in-turn VERIFY my claim.
Well guess what! I am the type of consumer who gets back at those who would step on my patronage.
Therefore, I will look at your list of products and make sure I do not purchase any for at least the better portion of one year. In addition, I intend to publish this email on the world wide web for whatever effect it may eventually have on your company.
INSULT CAN BE MET BY INSULT!