Lee.org

Many years ago, there was this fantastic bit that they did on the Carol Burnett show.

The scene: two men wearing suits sitting in an office. Blueprints sit on the desk in front of them

Owner: I have to thank you again for doing such a great job on this building. 64 stories tall, and you built it faster than expected and well under budget. And you got more office space inside this building that we originally thought you could! You are a genius!

Architect: [looking visibly nervous and disturbed] Yes well, I’m glad that you like it. I’m just… Yes well, we did a very good job. I’m very… happy… Well you know, this building isn’t without its flaws.

Owner: Yes but, everything is looking really good. We can clean up any small flaws that were made with the money that we saved in the construction and the increased rents that I’ll be be getting.

Architect: [starting to look despondent] Yes I’m sure you’re right. We can work this out.

Owner: We can discuss these problems after lunch. But first I have to go to the bathroom. Where is it? I think I saw it on the way in. Is it down the hall and on the left?

Architect: No.

Owner: Where is it then? Is it on the other side of the building?

Architect: [putting his hand into his hands] No.

Owner: [looking quizzical, and then with the look of happy realization] Ah, I see, you only put bathrooms on every other floor to save money. That’s how you did it! So is the men’s bathroom one floor up?

Architect: [starting to pull his hair, and speaking with a whimper] No.

Owner: [starting to realize that something is up] Then is it one floor down?

Architect: [he looks up at the owner and silently nods “no”]

Owner: Two floors up?

Architect: [he stares into the owner’s eyes and doesn’t flinch]

Owner: Two floors down? Seven floors up? Ten floors down?!!

Architect: Just a few… small flaws. I only forgot that one thing. [He sets his head down on the desk and puts his hands over it]

That brings us to today’s fatal flaw.

Since the tape deck in my car broke several months ago, I’ve been looking for a replacement, a way to play recorded media. I tried using my Pocket PC and a radio transmitter as a poor man’s iPod but the user interface isn’t all that good for automobile use. I came across a really groovy 20 gigabyte MP3 player the the car. The Omnifimedia DMP1 Mobile Digital Media Player. It sells in some places for $600, but I came across it for $149. (I later found that it sells in many places for under $200) So I looked into it. It looks like a fantastic device. Rugged, reliable, attractive, and an all around great marriage of technologies. You can even download your music from your home network using WiFi, pretty cool.

I came across a review on Amazon.com that mentioned that the device has no fast-forward button. That sounded ridiculous. I considered how I would probably be listening to very long MP3s, things like four hour long concerts, hourlong radio programs, 30 minute long pod casts and the like. I found the manual online and gosh darn it, it’s true. Tape decks and CD players have fast-forward. You can skip forward with vinyl on a turntable. But not this device. The last device I’ve heard of it didn’t have a fast-forward button was an 8-track tape player.

What’s old is new again.

a friend recently asked me about the detrius that I’m unloading. My response:

Oh my God, you wouldn’t believe how much junk I have. And I have been trying for the last several years to reduce my junk-load. But everyone has a CD collection right? And a book shelf or three of books. And furniture in storage. And old decorations that were only supposed to be used once. And old unused computer equipment. And clothing that they will never wear again. And insignificant knickknacks that really turn out to be completely insignificant. And the collection of valuable junk that we just never get around to getting rid of. Now all I need is an EMP pulse to wipe the slate completely clean. Because there is no way I am going to get rid of my wonderful collection of old computer programs, files, and archives.

The phrase “Jumped the Shark” supposedly comes from the Happy Days episode when Fonzie jumped a shark on waterskis, a sign that “it was all downhill from there”.

The people running the website JumpTheShark.com claim to be the originators of the phrase. But when I look at where they review Happy Days, Fonzie jumping the shark doesn’t even get a single vote for “Jumped The Shark when…”

So…. the phrase “Jump the Shark” was built on a concept that its creator doesn’t even stand behind despite building a sizable website and mystique around it.

There is some weird heavy-duty truism floating around in this somewhere.

Trav was recently talking about how he tried to fix a problem where he was undercharged at the pet store. No one at the pet store wanted to take his money when he called them up on the phone to correct the problem.

I’ve run into a dilemma that is similar in some respects. I bought a DVD on Amazon.com and found that the DVD was a Chinese bootleg. It’s a perfectly usable DVD. it’s just that Sony Classics never made a region one DVD with Chinese subtitles and Chinese characters on the front cover.

I emailed Amazon and they said that that’s not their issue, that I should speak with the party that sold me the goods. I contacted the seller and he was quite amenable to be returning the DVD for refund.

Now the dilemma: who am I supposed to talk to (if anyone) about these illegal goods? if this was counterfeit money, I would know to contact the Secret Service. Of course then, I would have to turn over the counterfeit money and I’d be out of luck. I ran into an issue like that a few months ago when I returned bootleg Norton antivirus CDs to Symantec. I got a congratulatory letter and was out 20 bucks.

Is this situation the same here with DVDs? It’s just not worth it for me to pester Sony Classics about this breach. What a terrific haven for bootlegging Amazon.com can be!

Here’s what I’m going to do: I’ll return the DVD (spending two more dollars on postage), get my money back and then give them a poor (and descriptive) feedback. I’ll let “the market” take care of the rest.

update 8-16-05 When I wrote to the owner of the DVD, he said that he was sorry and it hadn’t registered with him that it was a bootleg disc. He refunded my money and didn’t want the DVD back. So I got my money back AND kept the DVD. From the tone of the conversation we had, I’m guessing that it was just some guy trying to dump his DVD collection while moving.

From Masterreplicas.com describing their high end light saber replica

Durable yet light chrome plated aluminum body looks and feels like a real lightsaber.

Just like a real one, eh?

I just hooked up a webcam, mostly so that my family can see that I’m not dead while I’m out on the west coast. If you’ve just gotta see my mug, and get onto Yahoo Messenger and give me a buzz. My name on Yahoo messenger is, of course Gadlen.