Archive for January 2003

And you? How are things?

A friend asked me, “And you? How are things?”
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I got a letter just a few days ago saying that the Hackettstown school system has approved my application to become a substitute teacher. :-). They say I’ll be teaching in 2 weeks.

I started my math and psych courses…

The Math class is hard. It’s really hard. I’m worried. This is gonna take a lot of concentration and work… a lot of hours of cursing my own stupidity during homework sessions. Well, at least I’ll have the psych class to balance it out!

I’ve been working a lot on my web page. I think it’s replacing some important social element in my life… like not getting out enough or having a girlfriend or somesuch. It’s a healthy enough and stimulating activity so I’m not too worried. Check it out at www.lee.org.

I’ve started playing chess online and with Chessmaster 9000. Even when set to high school level, little automaton “Carrie” still kicks my ass, but that’s what learning is all about. At least she doesn’t gloat about it. :-)

I continue to sell my bottles of Marilyn Merlot wine on eBay. See . Wine is gonna put me through college! (assuming my supplier doesn’t run out or figure out how -he- can make as much money as I am on these bottles!

My folks haven’t been in NJ now for a month and I’ve taken over the house. It’s nice. Though I have to say that even when they were here, it was pretty darn OK. They’ll be back for a week starting next week.

I’d love to have a partner to interact with, voice ideas with, and work with. I feel I’d be more happy and successful in life if I had one. I’ve thought this for years and I’m disheartened that for all my looking I haven’t found one. I’ve been a part of a whole, missing the whole for a long time.

Penn Jillette

Kindred spirit: Penn, the larger half of Penn and Teller.

Kikkoman! Kikko Man!

Kikkoman! Kikko Man!

Original – link dead :-(

local version – not dead :-)

Wuw. This is some of the most….. I don’t know.. you just have to see it for yourself… Wuw. Did the soy sauce maker actually commission this work? If so… what does that mean? Wuw.

If you can read the Japanese and it says anything interesting, please write to me! I’d be most interested in finding out what predicated the swinging dead cat, and how the fish-headed Kikko-Man got the chick in bed. Wuw.

Did I mention…. “Wuw”?

Mcafee Spam

Here’s an email response to my aunt about a question she had:

>Subject: FW: Attn: MCAFEE VERSION 7.0 CLEARANCE SALE!
>
>*NEW-Special Package Deal!*
>2003 McAfee Version 7.0 Software Suite – Home Edition-
>THE NAME THAT MEANS SECURITY FOR YOUR PC COMPUTER.
>Includes – Feature-Packed Utilities…ALL For ONE Special LOW Pr…
————-
>Should I get this?…

It’s pretty much a cardinal rule to never buy anything from a Spam message. The vast majority of spams come from scam artists trying to steal from people. I get about 20-30 spams per day (yes really!) so I pretty much know. And I get about 5 spams a month about that Mcafee. I’d guess that some software pirate in China made a gazzilion copies of Mcafee and he’s sold them to spammers. OR, maybe there aren’t ANY for sale and those folks will just disappear as soon as they get your credit card! I don’t know… well, hey, lemme check on the internet and find out a little.

I just went on Google and searched for “mcafee version 7.0” and spam.

One of the first results I got back was
one that reports on fraud cases just like I said

So the moral of the story is, don’t buy nuthin from spammers.

On the other side, if you are worried about viruses and such, you’re talking to the right person! I can set you up with a legitimate copy of Norton AntiVirus and Blackice firewall. …

I had my first classes today

I had my first classes today… Math is (surprisingly) going to be a challenge while Child Growth and Development will be an excellent opportunity for me to polish up on the fine art of BS. I haven’t been in a classroom in 10 years. This will take a little getting used to!

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I put some more spit-polish on my “I hate NERO” page after a friend asked me about NERO. I startle myself at how much of a grudge I’m still holding over this thing. I guess my “counter-betrayal mechanism” has been working overtime since Cha. I have to vent the toxic fumes in some direction. So, come one, come all, step right up and see the gruesome object of my disgust.

————–

I’m still in the Wavexpress beta program… which mostly means that I write to them when I find a bug. I’ll always love poking at things and making them break. More than that, I love taking all the failure modes into account to try to figure out exactly what’s broken on the inside…. you know… like shaking a present at Christmas 10 different ways to try to figure out what’s inside.

Rumpology

OK, so I was reading this article about an atheist convention in UUWorld and I ran across the wackiest thing I’ve seen in a long while, Rumpology, “…whereby Jacqueline Stallone (Sylvester’s mom) promises to predict your future if you will merely send her a photocopy of your butt, along with (naturally) $100.”

RSVP Means “Please Respond”

[written 5-9-02 updated 1-24-03]

People habitually use the term “RSVP” incorrectly.

It is a French acronym for “Répondez s’il vous plaît”. Translated into English, that’s “Respond if you please”.

So, when one puts that on a letter, one means to say, “Tell me whether you are coming or not.”. If you are coming, tell me. If you are not coming, tell me. Etiquette demands that you respond one way or the other. A non-response is an insult.

Many people think that it just means, “Call me back if (and only if) you are coming.” That is wrong wrong wrong.
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1-24-03

A friend of mine throws these big parties with long lead times. One thing that he does, that I really really like is a graduated RSVP list. He writes:

I. Send me email and let me know whether you are
1) Definitely attending
2) Probably attending
3) Maybe attending
4) Probably not attending
or 5) Not attending

If your response is 1), 2), 3) or 4), you will receive all the followup mailings until you tell me to stop.

A few weeks later, we all get a list with the RSVP list of who will Definitely be there, Probably… etc. It works out very well..

Why Must I Show ID at the Airport?

or
Airline Safety

[written 1-24-03]

Well, the obvious answer is to make sure that I’m not a terrorist intending to crash the plane or some such. But wouldn’t a better strategy be to make sure that I didn’t bring anything onto the plane that I could use to crash the plane? Isn’t that what those slow and invasive X-ray and body search lines already do at the airport?

Let’s say Usama Bin Ladin’s brother walks into Newark Airport on his way to LA. Of course, the feds might be interested in asking about his brother, but if he isn’t carrying anything dangerous (not even dreaded nail clippers), then why -shouldn’t- he be let on the plane? If he was worried about being detained by the police merely for his travel plans, he could take a bus, train or (most securely of all) a private car. Of course, if he had a bomb in his luggage, he should be arrested, but if the government has nothing on a person, they should let him go about his business!

You want airline safety? Here are some suggestions.

* Install those controversial bullet-proof cockpit doors in American planes. You know, there isn’t actually any real controversy about them except for what they cost the airline to install, which is about $50k per plane. That’s 1 quarter of 1 percent of the cost of a 747. reference. They would have prevented the 9/11/01 disaster.
* Fix the US airline scheduling system so there is a higher on-time percentage… and when they’re not on-time, the passengers should know about it! I saw a congressional hearing on CPAN in 2002 where a news reporter had access to the current FAA radar. They showed up at the airport and were told that the plane would arrive 30 minutes late. But a quick check on the radar (viewed by a layman-reporter) showed the plane was going to be 2 hrs late. Guess when the plane showed up? This scenario repeats itself 100 times per day, every day, week after week, year after year. And it wouldn’t take too much to fix it. Oh wait, this isn’t a safety issue… we were talking about safety issues. Well, dammit, it’s my rant and I’ll scream about what I want to!
* Improve the checking system. Have you ever heard of someone getting killed by toenail clippers? EVER? Ok, I’ll even give that to you…… then how about you force passengers to put their (deadly!) toenail clippers in the plane’s safe?
* Train more dogs to sniff for bombs in luggage. Getting machines to do it is good too, but they’re very expensive ($1 mil each), slow, and error prone. And dogs make good pets. (then I wonder, what if a bomber encases their explosives in glass. I’ll bet I could smuggle a firecracker in a sealed test tube in my luggage….. No, I’d rather not make that bet with you.
* Install non-disable-able auto-pilot systems in planes. If the pilot pushes a panic button, the auto-pilot takes control and doesn’t let go until just shy of the airport. A hijacker is less likely to take a plane if it won’t go where he demands it to, not even at gun-point. This might have prevented the 9/11/01 disaster.

The original inspiration for this rant comes from John Gilmore’s “Free to Travel” site. I highly recommend you check it out. He is really out there on the libertarian cutting edge. He is currently (as of January 18th, 2003) in the middle of an important lawsuit whereby he refused to show his ID at an airport before boarding a plane. He demanded to know the law that required it… and of course the airport attendants couldn’t quote one because there isn’t one. I’ve said before that I wouldn’t want to live in a “hard” libertarian’s world but the examples hard libertarians present are very important. I want to get the bad guys just as much as you do, but it has to be done in such a way that we don’t create a place in our own government that breeds bad guys.

I’m very worried that this terrorism thing is going to spawn a new Mccarthyism in America. To a small extent, it already has and it’s on track for getting much worse. Just look where we’ve come

* Department of Homeland Security (doesn’t it remind you of Babylon 5’s Nightwatch, complete with xenophobic potentate!) As a side note, you may want to read J. Michael Straczynski’s comments on the Point of No Return episode of Babylon 5.
* The Patriot Act (good b/c it cuts out some gov. red tape, bad b/c appropriate checks and balances (like search warrants!) are often removed)
* new (unconstitutional) travel monitoring could easily become travel restrictions.
* Everyone’s reactionary “for God and Country” attitude. See my God Bless America Rant.

Here’s funny… well, not so funny… snippet from an article I read recently. I’m 100% in agreement with this guy.

Taken from Airport Insecurity by Tim O’Brien

A few weeks ago I found myself at the Tampa airport more than four hours ahead of the scheduled departure time for my return flight to Detroit. After checking my luggage through, I went in search of one of those temporary lockers to safely stow my two cumbersome carry-ons until boarding time. After ten or fifteen minutes of wandering through various wings and levels of the terminal, I finally asked a security guard where I might find the self-serve lockers.

“Oh, we don’t have those anymore,” he answered.

“What?” I was incredulous. “Why not?”

“Terrorism,” he responded matter-of-factly.

“Terrorism?” I asked innocently. “Was there a terrorist incident here?” I continued, feigning naivete.

A look of puzzlement spread over his face. “Well, no.” This was clearly the first time that it ever even occurred to him that the question might be relevant. “But,” he added triumphantly, “someone might put a bomb in one of those lockers.”

“Right,” I said with barely concealed exasperation. “Tell me, has anyone ever put a bomb at any airport anywhere in the United States?”

Just as he was beginning to get the hapless expression of someone unavoidably confronted by his own unthinking assumptions I decided to let him off the hook. Mumbling something about the fact that there was, on the other hand, someone standing right in front of him with an obvious need for a temporary locker, I took my discomforting questions and my carry-on luggage and went in quest of some place to while away the next four hours.

Nooks & Crannies

A friend wrote to me about Nooks & Crannies ™

>Not exactly, Lee. CLAIMING ownership, and actually owning something are two
>different animals. Just ask the folks at Enron.
>
>In this case, Registration No. 2614090 (NOOK & CRANNIES) (Ampersand, not
>”and”)is owned by “MEGARGY LICENCIA HASZNOSITO FELELOSSEGU TARSASAG,” a
>Hungarian holding company which licenses the mark back to Unilever
>Bestfoods, the parent coporation of Entemanns, which makes Thomas’ English
>Muffins.

and my response:

Hahahah! That’s hilarious! It sounds like the little old lady that swallowed a fly! But in this case, she probably swallowed the fly for tax purposes, yes?

Progressing at a Pace

My situation progresses at a pace… I’m starting school Tuesday so that by the fall I can enter a master’s program so that next fall I can apply to become a certified NJ teacher. With a significant amount of luck, I’ll be a certified teacher, in the classroom bending … errr shaping little minds in September 2004.

Potential schools right now include:

  • East Stroudsburg University over the border in PA. Their Master’s of Education in Science sounds interesting… if their graduate studies people would just return my calls! Maybe they’re still out for winter break.
  • Centenary in Hackettstown. If I can find a program that works for me. I had 1 meeting with them. I’ll have 1 more but it’s not looking good.
  • Rutgers in New Brunswick. Maybe but it’s a long commute to New Brunswick!
  • FDU in Madison: Maybe, though I might not make their entrance GPA requirements, and it’s pricey.

Also, by mid-February, as soon as the paperwork settles in the appropriate Nooks and Crannies ™*, I’ll start substitute teaching. Ironically, the training for being a sub consists of 2 sheets of paper and a map to the schools in the district. The notes on the sheets include things like: “#12. You must accompany your class outside in case of a fire drill.” and “#20. Try to get as many students possible to participate and become involved in the lesson activity.”

Ha.

And I did the math out… get into Grad school, I need 5 A’s before September… B’s don’t count and C’s are right-out. That’s 2 classes this semester, 2 first summer term, 1 second summer term. I’m going to have a busy summer! (and spring, and fall. Hurumph, my Tivo is gonna get lonely, though that’s not a too terribly bad thing)

In it for the long haul,
Or at least: in for ‘it’.

lee

*Yes, Thomas’ English Muffins owns “Nooks and Crannies”. Check the package.