Lee.org

This is a nice discovery.

My first use for it is:
Make a bookmark of “http://www.google.com/search?q=%s”
Go into the bookmark properties and give it a keyword of “?”
Now you can go a google search for happiness by typing the following into the address bar: ? happiness

You can do this for IMDB, Dictionary.com… anything. Slick.

Here’s what I’ve keyworded so far:
? http://www.google.com/search?q=%s
w http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/%s
imdb http://imdb.com/find?q=%s

I saw the Iron Chef America miniseries a couple months ago and was totally psyched about it. I even wrote a gushing post here on my blog… but then I deleted the gush because… well… something didn’t feel right. I had to watch a few more episodes before I was sure what was up.

I know what’s up now. Iron Chef America isn’t a good program. It wasn’t transposed to the U.S. well. Actually, the only elements that they really brought over were that it’s a cooking competition with a secret ingredient with running commentary. Any other similarity to any show, current or canned is purely coincidental.

I’ll get it out the way and say that I enjoy Alton Brown’s commentary quite a bit.

Here’s what they’re missing:

A host with charisma… cult of personality style. Everyone knows that nearly a decade ago, a man’s fantasy became reality in a form never seen before, Kitchen Stadium, a giant cooking arena. The motivation for spending his fortune to create kitchen stadium was to encounter new, original cuisine, which could be called true, artistic creations. On the flip side, the backstory behind Kaga’s nephew is that “he came to America”. Feh. (BTW, just to break everyone’s heart: Kaga’s backstory isn’t real and his nephew… isn’t)

The Challenger doesn’t get to pick who he’ll fight. Why not? Everyone is standing there… why did the other Iron Chefs show up if they already knew who was fighting?

The American Kitchen Stadium isn’t as well supplied. I’ve noticed a couple times how chefs were having trouble finding ingredients or appropriate utensils.

5 dishes in 1 hour? Come on! I know that Americans appreciate busyness, but this is crazy. It changes the show from a culinary competition to a track and field meet, literally. I suppose that it forces the chefs to make better use of their sous chefs, making their management style important. Also, it is a different (and not necessarily bad) thing to see chefs barking orders and discussing things. But it seems a bit impersonal that some components of each dish aren’t even touched by the chef.

It’s obvious that the chefs know what the secret ingredient is before it’s revealed. That breaks my heart.

Alton has to do the final countdown himself instead of the cool voiced, Star Trek computer-like timer lady. That, and a lack of, say a big clock on the wall gives me the subtle impression that the timer might not actually be exactly 60 minutes.

The Iron Chefs specialities aren’t named. I realize that specialities are more of a moving target with the American chefs, but you’ve got to say SOMETHING else besides their name!

The Challenger’s introduction is too short. You could conceivably shorten it from what the original Iron Chef did… a full Olympic-hopeful style 3 minute biography, but to say, “And here is our challenger, Chef Blahblah. He owns a really nice restaurant!” Is…. distasteful.

The interstitial graphics look way too much like Robot Wars.

Why, oh why, oh WHY does our NC (Nephew Chairman) keep saying, “This is your first appearance in Kitchen Stadium.” They’ve put like 5 episodes in the can. Of COURSE this is their first appearance!

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There’s a lot more I could say about this… a lot more. I thought about doing a careful analysis of what was wrong with the show and how it might be fixed, but that wouldn’t be seen as a QA effort but a crazy fandom streak in me. I’ll settle with this nice little rant.

I’ve been going through all my older things, getting ready to move. Here’s a little tidbit I clipped from… I don’t even remember where.

After all these years, it still makes me laugh in that “Oh my god! Don’t tell anyone I laughed this hard at something so cruel! Ow, my sides hurt!”
(click to enlarge)

Here’s an article about a guy becoming an eBay opium addict. I was thinking that he sounded like he was speaking from a place of authority on the matter so I checked on it…

He wrote:

There were online pharmacies on the Internet. I ordered Tramadol from Mexico and Nurofen Plus with the legal max 12.8 milligrams of codeine per tablet from New Zealand. Then that got tougher.

Illustration By Sandra Hoover
Finally, I found eBay. I had been looking for old motel stationery and fake Jackson Pollock drip paintings. They sold everything–why not drugs?

I typed “poppy pods” into the search bar.

Like anyone trolling the Internet at 4 a.m., I had been looking for some kind of temporary drug fix. I found it on eBay under Crafts>Floral Supplies>Flowers, Foliage>Dried.

Crafting. Sure. I liked art.

And, there they were! (Yes, that is a real eBay screenshot)

Now, I’m all for the legalization of most recreational drugs as long as they come with appropriate warning labels on them, but… and please correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t opium a “controlled” substance?

It’s pretty intense, following the buying patterns of these buyers via their feedback. Over the course of a few weeks, first they buy a little…. and then they buy a lot. And then they buy a real lot.

This fantastic poem was written by my good friend Molly Carocci.
She has licensed this under the Attribution-NonCommercial 2.0 Creative Commons License.

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The Cheese-loving Shepherd to His Love

Eat cheese with me and be my Love,
And we will all the pleasures prove
That dills and Wensleydales and Tetillas, Or Edams or Havarti yields.

And we will sit upon a sweater,
And see the shepherds eat some Cheddar
By shallow rivers, at whose falls
Melodious birds eat Emmentals.

And I will make thee clothes of cheeses
Amid a thousand fragrant breezes;
A cap of Cantal, and some Fontal,
Embroider’d all with leaves of myrtle.

A robe made of the finest Brie
Which you shall wear so Caerphilly;
And shoes of finest Port Salut
With buckles made of Lou Palou.

A belt of Gouda ringed with Feta,
With Stilton clasps and Mozzarella:
And if these pleasures may thee move,
Eat cheese with me and be my Love.

The cheesy swains shall dance and sing
For thy delight each May morning:
If these delights thy mind may move,
Then eat cheese with me and be my Love.

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For the last couple months I’ve been using a teeth whitener to shine up my pearly whites. I’m quite happy with the results.

My teeth aren’t black or horribly discolored. I don’t smoke and rarely drink red wine, those are two things that can really darken a smile. But my teeth are just a bit yellow. And darn it, I want a nice smile.

I bought a “boil-n-bite” tray set and 15 ml of 22% carbamide peroxide from Dentist.net for a total of about $40.

The boil-n-bite set came with 4 trays… good thing because my first attempt at making a form fitting tray failed. But the next two attempts (top and bottom arch) went just fine. It was a matter of warming up the tray quickly (5 seconds instead of the suggested 15 seconds) and using all my fingers to squish the trays into place. I looked a bit odd with all 10 fingers in my mouth while hovering over the stove.. but hey.

I got 22% because… well, because I’m cheap. 10% is only a few pennies cheaper but is supposedly recommended for “beginners”. Bah. I’ll admit that the first couple times I did it, I had to take the trays out after about 30 minutes because of a burning sensation in my gums, but I’m good now.

I brush my teeth, squeeze about 0.5 ml into the tray along the tooth-line in the tray, and plunk it in my mouth. I usually do both the uppers and lowers at the same time. Though I’ve done my uppers more often because that’s what people see the most. I leave them in for 45 min to 1 1/2 hrs depending on how I’m feeling and how fed up I get with having bulky trays in my mouth.

After about 5 sessions, my teeth were noticeably whiter. Importantly, they still look natural. They’re not monochromatically WHITE but an imperfect and naturally looking white-er.

The last couple sessions haven’t gotten them much whiter, but that was expected. I’ve read that the first couple sessions give the most benefit.

I could have gone to a dentist or Brite Smile but I seriously wasn’t interested in paying $600 for WHITE teeth… $40 was more my style, even if I have to stick trays in my mouth for months instead of a single 2 hr dentist visit.

Last but not least, it very much appears to be “safe and effective”. I couldn’t find anyone online that had problems with the stuff.

update 12-30-05:It’s been 8 months since I used the teeth whitening stuff and I’m still happy with the results. I went to a dentist a few weeks ago and I asked about teeth whitening products. They compared my tooth color to some tooth color swatches they had; my teeth compared to the second whitest in their swatches and they said I definitely didn’t need whitening… though they’d oblige me if I still wanted to give them money. I thought that was a bit strange because before I went in, I was thinking I might need some more whitening. I guess I’ve got a little tooth-color-anorexia. Suffice to say, I’m still happy with the results.